Like so many siblings do, my
brother and I fought for years as we grew up. There was a point, maybe for a
few days in the hospital, that I thought he was pretty great. I even remember
thinking how amazing it was seeing him for the first time through the nursery
window. However, our four-year age difference presented challenges for us, as
we grew older. Brady is now my best friend, but this change was gradual.
Although it was a tough road, I can’t imagine what life would be like had this
change not occurred.
When Brady
was born, our comfortable family of three expanded to four. Of course I knew
that my parents still loved me unconditionally, but this baby was suddenly
taking all of their attention, and that was the only thing that I recognized.
This jealousy was the first ill feeling that I had towards my brother, but it
was only a child’s jealousy that is irrational at times. As we grew older, the
jealousy went away, but our relationship became tense and draining. Our family
functioned as four teams or two sometimes, because the relationship between my
brother and me prevented us from being close-knit.
Things
began to change the summer that Brady was thirteen. He started working as a bus
boy and matured through the months. I noticed that he began to do selfless
things for me, such as carrying my bags and giving me random hugs. When school
started, he never failed to thank me for giving him a ride. Those rides to
school were monumental in the transformation of our relationship. It was a
short ride, but we talked for the first time about real things. Sometimes we
talked about school or friends, or sometimes we would just play the music
really loud and sing. No matter what we did, it was our time.
At some
point in all of this, we became best friends. This change took so much time and
there was no specific moment that I knew that it had occurred. Today, my
brother and I can talk about anything. I see his selfless heart rather than the
pesky brother exterior that I had focused on so harshly before. An anonymous author
stated that, “A friend is a brother who was once a bother.” Brady isn’t what I
thought he was, and he will always be my brother and best friend.
This change
required a huge alteration of communication between my brother and me, and also
my family and the public in general. The reactions from each group as well
played a large role in this shift. My brother and I began to communicate more
verbally than we had before. This opened our relationship to a deeper level and
allowed us to confide in each other as friends would. I displayed my change of
heart by spending more quality time with him. He was now invited to hang out
with my friends and me when we would go out, or sometimes we would just have
brother-sister dates. One in particular that I remember was when my parents
were out of town. We went downtown and listened to the bands playing by the
river, had dinner, and went to the drive-in where we mostly laughed and talked
rather than watching the movie. This quality time showed him that I cared for
him, and presented myself as a sister and a friend.
Communication
within my family changed dramatically after the shift. We were now able to
function as one unit, so we could now talk about our issues and move on. More
quality time was spent together as a family, and we all looked forward to this
time together. Our vacation time as a family increased exponentially, including
trips to Florida, D.C., and Yellowstone within the last year. This change in
our family dynamic made for a difficult departure as a moved to Lexington, four
hours away. However, the communication between my family, my brother and myself
has never been better.
When
conveying my shift to the public, it seemed to be more verbally communicated
than the other situations. When someone asked me about by brother, I could go
on now about how we were so close, and he was my best friend. An extremely
public statement of my sentiments occurred during my Valedictorian speech on
graduation night. I dedicated part of my speech to Brady, and spoke to the
crowd of how he was the best person I knew. I thought that it was appropriate
that they know this, since he was and still is a huge part of who I am.
Personally,
this shift changed who I was in a tremendous way. I began to spend less time
with friends and more time at home. Spending more time with them caused me to
be more appreciative of them. I now had a happier home life and a better
outlook on my day-to-to life.
Without
this change, my life could have been immensely different than what it is today.
In my stubborn ways, I only saw the shallow exterior of not only my brother,
but everyone else as well. This turn in my life allowed me to see more deeply
into someone’s true self. Eradicating shallow perspectives freed me to a new
life. This life was happier and judgment free. Anyone that seems to dwell on
these perspectives should attempt to make this change in their life. In high
school, I had tons of friends that I had been with for years. However, I always
knew that when tough times came, most of them would not have my back. After a
few of those time had come and gone, I stopped caring what they thought. Brady
was there for me when I needed him the most. So, regardless of whether he is my
brother or not, he will always be one of my dearest friends. I left high school
with two close friends that adore Brady as well, and I couldn’t be happier with
that. The day that I stopped caring and only focused on those that truly cared
for me, was the day that I felt free again, and I encourage anyone having these
same feeling to do the same.
Thankfully,
I had this realization so soon in life. If I had not had a change of heart, I
could have wasted the past several years with my family. Through happy times,
times of transition, and awful times, I know that my family will be there for
me. Friends have come and gone my whole life, but without my family and their
support, I would have nothing. Recently, our family of four, my boyfriend,
grandparents, aunts, and uncle all travelled to Jackson Hole, Wyoming for
Christmas. Most teenagers would hate to be with all of their family for that
much time, especially Brady who was fourteen. However, Brady and I had the time
of our lives. We went snowmobiling, snowboarding, and at night we would all sit
around the fire and talk about my baby cousin that is on the way or listen to
my grandpa’s old stories. That trip is something I will never forget, and I am
so happy that I appreciated my family enough to realize how special it actually
was. Brady has shown me this selfless loving person that I strive to be every
day, and I owe to him the fact that I am so much closer with every person in my
family now.
At the end
of the day, this is what this whole situation means to me. I challenge anyone
who is reading this to tell anyone that you care about how much you appreciate
him or her. Never take advantage of the people that God has placed in your
life, because He did it for a reason. Try to look past the exteriors of those
who you tend to look through everyday. Chances are you have built up an
exterior that needs to be broken as well. My brother helped me to break down
that exterior that was so detrimental to those around me. He caused me to see
the good in people and appreciate the ones who cared so much more than I ever
did before. There are people in your life just like my brother, who were placed
there to challenge you, love you, carry you, and change you for good. Take
notice of these people and strive to become a better you. Brady has changed my
life for the better, and I thank God everyday for blessing me with such a
wonderful brother, because I would not be who I am today without him.
Works Cited
Unknown. "Brother Quotes, Sayings
about Siblings, Quotations about Brothers." Brother Quotes, Sayings about Siblings,
Quotations about Brothers. Terri Guillemets, 6 Jan. 2013. Web. 27 Feb.
2013.
