Position Shift Essay

Shelby Clark

WRD 110-001

Position Shift Essay

2/27/13

Like so many siblings do, my brother and I fought for years as we grew up. There was a point, maybe for a few days in the hospital, that I thought he was pretty great. I even remember thinking how amazing it was seeing him for the first time through the nursery window. However, our four-year age difference presented challenges for us, as we grew older. Brady is now my best friend, but this change was gradual. Although it was a tough road, I can’t imagine what life would be like had this change not occurred.

            When Brady was born, our comfortable family of three expanded to four. Of course I knew that my parents still loved me unconditionally, but this baby was suddenly taking all of their attention, and that was the only thing that I recognized. This jealousy was the first ill feeling that I had towards my brother, but it was only a child’s jealousy that is irrational at times. As we grew older, the jealousy went away, but our relationship became tense and draining. Our family functioned as four teams or two sometimes, because the relationship between my brother and me prevented us from being close-knit.

            Things began to change the summer that Brady was thirteen. He started working as a bus boy and matured through the months. I noticed that he began to do selfless things for me, such as carrying my bags and giving me random hugs. When school started, he never failed to thank me for giving him a ride. Those rides to school were monumental in the transformation of our relationship. It was a short ride, but we talked for the first time about real things. Sometimes we talked about school or friends, or sometimes we would just play the music really loud and sing. No matter what we did, it was our time.

            At some point in all of this, we became best friends. This change took so much time and there was no specific moment that I knew that it had occurred. Today, my brother and I can talk about anything. I see his selfless heart rather than the pesky brother exterior that I had focused on so harshly before. An anonymous author stated that, “A friend is a brother who was once a bother.” Brady isn’t what I thought he was, and he will always be my brother and best friend.

            This change required a huge alteration of communication between my brother and me, and also my family and the public in general. The reactions from each group as well played a large role in this shift. My brother and I began to communicate more verbally than we had before. This opened our relationship to a deeper level and allowed us to confide in each other as friends would. I displayed my change of heart by spending more quality time with him. He was now invited to hang out with my friends and me when we would go out, or sometimes we would just have brother-sister dates. One in particular that I remember was when my parents were out of town. We went downtown and listened to the bands playing by the river, had dinner, and went to the drive-in where we mostly laughed and talked rather than watching the movie. This quality time showed him that I cared for him, and presented myself as a sister and a friend.

            Communication within my family changed dramatically after the shift. We were now able to function as one unit, so we could now talk about our issues and move on. More quality time was spent together as a family, and we all looked forward to this time together. Our vacation time as a family increased exponentially, including trips to Florida, D.C., and Yellowstone within the last year. This change in our family dynamic made for a difficult departure as a moved to Lexington, four hours away. However, the communication between my family, my brother and myself has never been better.

            When conveying my shift to the public, it seemed to be more verbally communicated than the other situations. When someone asked me about by brother, I could go on now about how we were so close, and he was my best friend. An extremely public statement of my sentiments occurred during my Valedictorian speech on graduation night. I dedicated part of my speech to Brady, and spoke to the crowd of how he was the best person I knew. I thought that it was appropriate that they know this, since he was and still is a huge part of who I am.

            Personally, this shift changed who I was in a tremendous way. I began to spend less time with friends and more time at home. Spending more time with them caused me to be more appreciative of them. I now had a happier home life and a better outlook on my day-to-to life.

            Without this change, my life could have been immensely different than what it is today. In my stubborn ways, I only saw the shallow exterior of not only my brother, but everyone else as well. This turn in my life allowed me to see more deeply into someone’s true self. Eradicating shallow perspectives freed me to a new life. This life was happier and judgment free. Anyone that seems to dwell on these perspectives should attempt to make this change in their life. In high school, I had tons of friends that I had been with for years. However, I always knew that when tough times came, most of them would not have my back. After a few of those time had come and gone, I stopped caring what they thought. Brady was there for me when I needed him the most. So, regardless of whether he is my brother or not, he will always be one of my dearest friends. I left high school with two close friends that adore Brady as well, and I couldn’t be happier with that. The day that I stopped caring and only focused on those that truly cared for me, was the day that I felt free again, and I encourage anyone having these same feeling to do the same.

            Thankfully, I had this realization so soon in life. If I had not had a change of heart, I could have wasted the past several years with my family. Through happy times, times of transition, and awful times, I know that my family will be there for me. Friends have come and gone my whole life, but without my family and their support, I would have nothing. Recently, our family of four, my boyfriend, grandparents, aunts, and uncle all travelled to Jackson Hole, Wyoming for Christmas. Most teenagers would hate to be with all of their family for that much time, especially Brady who was fourteen. However, Brady and I had the time of our lives. We went snowmobiling, snowboarding, and at night we would all sit around the fire and talk about my baby cousin that is on the way or listen to my grandpa’s old stories. That trip is something I will never forget, and I am so happy that I appreciated my family enough to realize how special it actually was. Brady has shown me this selfless loving person that I strive to be every day, and I owe to him the fact that I am so much closer with every person in my family now.

            At the end of the day, this is what this whole situation means to me. I challenge anyone who is reading this to tell anyone that you care about how much you appreciate him or her. Never take advantage of the people that God has placed in your life, because He did it for a reason. Try to look past the exteriors of those who you tend to look through everyday. Chances are you have built up an exterior that needs to be broken as well. My brother helped me to break down that exterior that was so detrimental to those around me. He caused me to see the good in people and appreciate the ones who cared so much more than I ever did before. There are people in your life just like my brother, who were placed there to challenge you, love you, carry you, and change you for good. Take notice of these people and strive to become a better you. Brady has changed my life for the better, and I thank God everyday for blessing me with such a wonderful brother, because I would not be who I am today without him.

Works Cited

Unknown. "Brother Quotes, Sayings about Siblings, Quotations about Brothers."   Brother Quotes, Sayings about Siblings, Quotations about Brothers. Terri Guillemets, 6 Jan. 2013. Web. 27 Feb. 2013.